Manchester United Q&A Jokes

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Q: What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.

Q: What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they’ve been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.

Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are fucking bad singers!!!

Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.

Q: What’s the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s Alex Ferguson.

Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What’s the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real dick.

Q: Why can’t you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.

93 Comments

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 >

By Alyssa on May 21, 2007 @ 7:44 am

i love man u come on u can do it especcillay u ronaldo come on baby:)

By Man Utd Warrior on May 23, 2007 @ 9:06 am

these jokes are ******* stupid who ever made them deserves to die

By sam on May 27, 2007 @ 5:02 am

these are silly jokes

By manu 4 life on May 27, 2007 @ 9:19 pm

does jokes are as lame as they can get they need to deleted and person who wrote them should be shot to come wit such stupid ****. hey guess wat d write of these jokes and a tolite have in common they are both full of ****.

By TrueBlue_08 on May 31, 2007 @ 8:46 am

Truth hurts! hehe!

By RIgoberto Rocha on May 31, 2007 @ 7:09 pm

That is the stupidiest **** i’ve ever heard!!!! Whoever made these jokes should Look at the standings and see Who’s #1:)

By david on June 1, 2007 @ 1:05 pm

hahaha mint joke weeyy utd faggots!!!!!! lfc for life

By liam on June 3, 2007 @ 2:17 pm

luv the jokes man utd r ****

By Chris on June 4, 2007 @ 9:27 pm

Hey Man Utd Warrior! I completely agree wid u. These jokes r f*cking ****

By Durrtty on June 10, 2007 @ 9:48 am

u shud die m8

By Dreizehn on June 10, 2007 @ 9:27 pm

******’ Manchester United

By cdl on June 20, 2007 @ 12:29 am

WORST JOKES EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN U RULZ!!!!!!!

By Jimin on June 28, 2007 @ 6:16 pm

these jokes are the worst jokes ever…why even do you even bother posting them?

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 >

Write a Comment

Name (optional):

Mail (optional, will not be published):

Comment (required):

Comment moderation is enabled. Your comment may take some time to appear.


eXTReMe Tracker

Advertisement

Advertisement