Liverpool Q&A Jokes

Q: Why will Liverpool never win the League?
A: They keep scoring Owen goals.

Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool.

Q: What’s is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam’s only got two tits in front of her.

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.

Q: What do Pool Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 2.000.000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: How can you tell a level headed Liverpool supporter?
A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth - at the same time.

Q: What do you get if you cross a Liverpol fan with a pig?
A: Thick bacon.

Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scowser fan?
A: A battery has a positive side.

Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So they ain’t mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.

Q: Why did Beardsley never play in Scotland?
A: Cos he wiz afraid of the Bells (Scottish Premier).

75 Comments

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By yusongo on August 26, 2007 @ 10:33 pm

i was being sarcastically arrogant

By yusongo on August 26, 2007 @ 10:34 pm

AIG Alex Is God

By nbbd on August 28, 2007 @ 12:13 am

Thanx…well u worked it then cos i believed it…didnt help my mood lol :)

By sandeep on August 30, 2007 @ 7:58 am

we r the best…… dn’t u worry guys we’ll win the premiership

By yusongo on August 30, 2007 @ 7:36 pm

:) i am a man united fan though. i love the rivalry between our clubs but it’s only when that rivalry becomes violence or taunts about munich or heysel that i get angry. Good luck this season, liverpool.

By Redmond on August 31, 2007 @ 12:19 pm

Yeah agree with yusongo the rivalry and banter is fun, theres no point in all this hatred we are the two biggest clubs in England and i cant help being a bit jealous about how passionate the fans at Anfield are! its great in the Stretford End but most other of the other seats arent filled with real fans even the Stewards seem a bit Snooty in my opinion. the Stretford End seems to be the only place to sing and cheer surrounded by proper fans feel like the only person singing in the East stand. All the chants like Build a Bonfire are just a bit of fun but ones like the Munich City chant are just sick cant really be too judgemental though as i see plenty of idiots at OT too dont think theres any clubs that havent got a few wankers supporting them though!

By nbbd on September 1, 2007 @ 12:33 am

o..k. Well yeh the fans are the best! n yh some fans can get violent and thats not impressive. but some of the friendly rivalry (if thats even possible) is what separates our english league from all the other leauges in the world…so i guess theres an upside too.

By Destroyer on September 10, 2007 @ 1:42 am

These jokes suck………….whoever made them should have his ****** balls excrutiated and his **** cut of…..

Death to all those who hate liverpool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By BUM BOY A.K.A Andrew Fenton 22 Greenbrook close, bury,walmersley on September 10, 2007 @ 2:18 am

as much as i hate both the scousers and the chelsea scum, i do have 2 agree with the scouser when i say chelsea have no footballing history wotsoeva…but then again liverpool struggle more dan ever in the premier league…i mean dey cnt even compete with united n chelsea never mind actually winning a title.
come visit me, my address is in my name

By Nikit Kotecha 14 launceston road radcliffe on September 10, 2007 @ 2:18 am

come to my address by the way
and liverpool and chelsea are awful

By Andrew Fenton 22 greenbrook close on September 10, 2007 @ 2:20 am

come visit my house, my mother specialises in you know wot

By Nikit Kotecha 14 launceston road radcliffe on September 10, 2007 @ 2:28 am

come to my house

By Andrew Fenton 22 greenbrook close on September 11, 2007 @ 4:53 am

hi everyone, for some strange reason nobody turned up to see my mother…she was left very disappointed. PLEASE I BEG YOU ALL, COME VISIT MY MUM AT 22 GREENBROOK CLOSE, BURY, WALMERSLEY.
I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON
ANDREW

By nbbd on September 11, 2007 @ 10:13 am

Loool pricks!

By Anonymous on September 12, 2007 @ 2:44 am

shut up wanker, my mum is a very nice person who has lots of qualities…my auntie lives at 222 church street,little lever…at least pay her a visit, she was miss world in 2005 so shes still hungry

By helloo everyone, i am teh ballboy i come in peace on September 14, 2007 @ 3:20 am

my address is in front of the south stand, gigg lane…come and get me if u can

By Guruchel on September 28, 2007 @ 8:32 pm

myfreepaysite home

By g liverpool on September 30, 2007 @ 3:18 pm

liverpool girls are the best in the country
an we have won more than anyone else
you can take the piss out of us scoucers coz we can take it not like u londners

By mishalan on October 9, 2007 @ 4:52 am

hello my name is mishalan and i love to play soccer
and i love your team you are very good players
and i love the way christiano play
i am 13 years old but i am a cool soccer player

By Anonymous on November 1, 2007 @ 1:15 pm

XXXXXXXXLIVERPOOL IS THE BESTXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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