Chelsea Q&A Jokes
Q: Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?
A: Who gives a F**K!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don’t know, there are some things a pig just won’t do.
Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.
Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.
Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved.
Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans?
A: Gross Stupidity.
Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.
Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.
Q: Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.
Q: What’s the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan.
Q: What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Q: What does Claudi Ranieri say when Chelsea score?
A: Fantastic. Now let us try to get goal at other end of pitch.
A: Who gives a F**K!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don’t know, there are some things a pig just won’t do.
Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.
Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.
Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved.
Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans?
A: Gross Stupidity.
Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.
Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.
Q: Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.
Q: What’s the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan.
Q: What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Q: What does Claudi Ranieri say when Chelsea score?
A: Fantastic. Now let us try to get goal at other end of pitch.
120 Comments
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Why didn’t the chairman give me the 100 GBP to improve my squad?!
CHELSEA ROCKS HARD !!! IF ANYONE WANT A FIGHT WITH ME JUST COME MY NAME IS HJALMAR ARNAL SMITH
wtf that keeper joke is so ***** dumb chelsea have the best keeper in the world
where is shevchenko
I want to see shevchenko play in UEFA match
chelsea the best
hey wat do u think of ur selves
stupid f**king jokes
chlesea rox!!!
man u sux!!!
and that’s true
now read sum jokes about your f**king man u :
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q: What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.
Q: What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they’ve been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.
Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What’s the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s Alex Ferguson.
Q: What’s the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real ****.
Q: Why can’t you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.
Yh But chelsea with out drogba n lampard = accrington
I was watching the Champions League final at home, and my wife was hoovering up - all of a sudden she accidentally knocked the television……..and Didier Drogba fell over!
no offence chelsea fans by you saying man u sucks
i didnt hear anyone sayin that in moscow mate
your just sore losers
all of you
UNITEDDD
x
SING A SONG OF CHELSEA,AND HOW THEY LOST THE CUP,THEY TOOK THE GAME TO PENALTIES, AND JOHN TERRY FUCKED IT UP,THE TEAM ALL LOOKED LIKE AVRAM,THE PLAYERS LOOKED SO GLUM,BUT **** I HAVENT LAUGHED SO MUCH SINCE LAMPARD LOST HIS MUM!!!!!!!.
QPR, NEVER BE MASTERED BY NO CHELSKI *******, U RRRS
ITS VERY FUNNY
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Chelsea won nothin this year so f**k up
and Man u won the double
SCREW CHELSEA
hey look here u haters! u all jealous coz u knw chelsea r the best nd that ronaldo is leavin wich means the premier league just got manly
**************************************** ***
chelsea u rok
@chelsea fan - epic jokes.
And the others (MU and Liverpool fans) - go eat some quicksilver or smth…
Dude you guys never win anything MANUTD WINS EVERYTHING!!!!!!
MANUTD RULZ!!
chelsea ur ***** **** who’ve gone through 3 coachs and you havent achieved ****…liverpool on the other hand has achieved beating chelsea at stamford bridge reaching the final against ac milan once wining once losing and will surely become epl champions and ucl champs in 2008……chelsea are shitt they have never reached the champions league and also when you build a stadium in chelsea try and put the seats not facing the pitch so every one wont go blind….im out of here yor peace
whoever made up these jokes is a ****
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