Chelsea Q&A Jokes

Q: Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?
A: Who gives a F**K!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don’t know, there are some things a pig just won’t do.

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved.

Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans?
A: Gross Stupidity.

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.

Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.

Q: Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.

Q: What’s the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan.

Q: What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q: What does Claudi Ranieri say when Chelsea score?
A: Fantastic. Now let us try to get goal at other end of pitch.

120 Comments

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By geprge holloway on May 20, 2007 @ 3:07 am

who ever made these jokes should burn in hell

By Anonymous on May 20, 2007 @ 1:15 pm

nah they should be known world wide lmao

By yis on May 21, 2007 @ 5:40 am

abolutly amazin jokes

By faiz13 on May 25, 2007 @ 9:13 pm

this guy who made it is a *******!!

By niks on May 26, 2007 @ 4:05 am

hate u bitchh! you’re just jealous of chelsea cos chelsea is the best!!

By nwosu victor a chelsea faithfull on May 28, 2007 @ 5:37 pm

who ever did is is nothing but a jealous fan that does not know whether a club plays foot ball or whether its is the hatred for one of the best coaches ever……………….. jose mourinho

By liverpool4ever on May 29, 2007 @ 4:12 am

whoever made these up is the best….because chelsea SUCK

By SCOTT [CHELSEA][#][1] LEWIS >=[ --> BIATCH! on May 30, 2007 @ 9:12 am

NO DOUBT THAT WAS A LIVERPOOL OR ARSENAL OR WEST HAM OR NEWCASTLE FAN … YEH? …. WHOS FINISHED 2ND ? AND WHO FINISHED LOWER? WRAP THAT RIGHT ROUND YA’

By Askitis on May 31, 2007 @ 1:48 am

Do not take all these comments for granded!!!!!!!! chelsea for ever. one team 22 extraordinary players

By TrueBlue_08 on May 31, 2007 @ 8:43 am

Da person dat made dese joke is a b*sterd! Prob a Man U fan- well we won mre trofies n bet u 1-0! Chelsea r the bst in the world n dese joke suck- dere nt even a little bit funi- dont give up ure dayjob!

By fridger on May 31, 2007 @ 2:04 pm

helo

By fridger@ on May 31, 2007 @ 2:05 pm

chelsea rule #

By RIgoberto Rocha on May 31, 2007 @ 7:03 pm

those are the funniest joke i have ever heard!!!!!!! Man Utd #1:)

By Rianna Webster on June 1, 2007 @ 8:02 am

Who Ever made these joke no nothing about football, chelsea it the best team in the world and everyone knos it.

By joe on June 5, 2007 @ 11:21 am

is that all the erson hu made up these jokes can do the peson hu made these **** jokes shud get up off his fat *** n go and get a good job n support a amzing team like chelsea so the jokes are a pile of ****!!!!!!!!!

By joe on June 5, 2007 @ 11:23 am

f*ck man utd chelsea will win it nxt year so don’t worry

By joe on June 5, 2007 @ 11:24 am

CHELSEA! CHELSEA! CHELSEA! CHELSEA! CHELSEA! CHELSEA! CHELSEA! CHELSEA!

By joe on June 5, 2007 @ 11:25 am

is that the best jokes u can make. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN UTD FAN AND A CHELSEA FAN::: A CHELSEA FRAN DOESNT HAVE TO CRY WEN CHELSEA BATTER MAN UTD!!!!!!!!!!!!

By andy on June 5, 2007 @ 12:12 pm

that is a load of bo**ocks coz chelsea fc are champs.wet spam are premiershiplosers, arsenal lose against wet spam and wet spam are sh** and they know they are liverpool loose against milan and fulham and i think it was portsmoth or something. and man utd just can barley win sh** and buy there way up.chelsea dont lose.if we dont win we draw

By bear on June 6, 2007 @ 6:31 am

i love my CHELSEA!!!!!!!!!!!!

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