Chelsea Q&A Jokes

Q: Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?
A: Who gives a F**K!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don’t know, there are some things a pig just won’t do.

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved.

Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans?
A: Gross Stupidity.

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.

Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.

Q: Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.

Q: What’s the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan.

Q: What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q: What does Claudi Ranieri say when Chelsea score?
A: Fantastic. Now let us try to get goal at other end of pitch.

114 Comments

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By Chelsea Forever on August 13, 2008 @ 1:07 am

**************************************** ***

By uday on August 16, 2008 @ 12:47 am

chelsea u rok

By MCantis on September 18, 2008 @ 7:52 am

@chelsea fan - epic jokes.

And the others (MU and Liverpool fans) - go eat some quicksilver or smth…

By Manutd on October 22, 2008 @ 2:37 am

Dude you guys never win anything MANUTD WINS EVERYTHING!!!!!!
MANUTD RULZ!!

By eggo on November 6, 2008 @ 3:36 am

chelsea ur ***** **** who’ve gone through 3 coachs and you havent achieved ****…liverpool on the other hand has achieved beating chelsea at stamford bridge reaching the final against ac milan once wining once losing and will surely become epl champions and ucl champs in 2008……chelsea are shitt they have never reached the champions league and also when you build a stadium in chelsea try and put the seats not facing the pitch so every one wont go blind….im out of here yor peace

By Chelsea on November 30, 2008 @ 1:05 pm

whoever made up these jokes is a ****

By chelsea on December 19, 2008 @ 5:30 am

man u suck **** n why do you think ur stadium is called the theatre of dreams A; theatres are 4 drama queens eg ronaldo B; wining is a dream u will neva accomplish hahahahahahahahahahba
chelseaxxxx

By Anonymous on January 16, 2009 @ 6:34 am

go chesea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!111m u sucks mu sucks mu sucks mu sucks :p

By Ripsta on January 22, 2009 @ 5:25 am

**** man-u they ain’t **** Chelsea iz the **** c ronaldo ain’t nothin to my nigga Drogba….

By Peter anyon on February 3, 2009 @ 4:57 pm

Chelsea rule for life man united fans only support them because if they didnt they’d only have stabbings to amuse themselves!! CHELSEA FOR LIFE!! true blue runs through these veins!!

By Liverpool You'll Never Walk Alone on March 13, 2009 @ 8:49 pm

YOU WON **** ALL !!! HA HA! QPR is a second hand team and I HAVENT LAUGHED SO MUCH since a fuuuuckin wop buyed ure sorry lame *** team! and about lampard mum’s com. , my impression is : U R A COCKSUUCKIN! ***

By Dion on April 27, 2009 @ 6:40 pm

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA thats the funniest jokes ive eva heard suck that chelsea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Mancienne on May 13, 2009 @ 8:02 pm

CHELSEA #1

By Anonymous on May 28, 2009 @ 12:36 am

chelsea rule thay are the beast team in the wold

By grattz on June 4, 2009 @ 7:31 am

liverpool are ****

By xRoNaLdOx on June 5, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

Hahaa Lmao
United Rule !!

By cfc4life on June 6, 2009 @ 6:03 am

what a load of ****. chelsea for life!

By Sukkub on June 30, 2009 @ 2:22 pm

chelsea el mejor de inglatera mejor q manchester y felicitaciones a Didier Drogba juega demasiado te admiro mucho