Chelsea Q&A Jokes

Q: Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?
A: Who gives a F**K!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don’t know, there are some things a pig just won’t do.

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved.

Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans?
A: Gross Stupidity.

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.

Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.

Q: Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.

Q: What’s the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan.

Q: What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q: What does Claudi Ranieri say when Chelsea score?
A: Fantastic. Now let us try to get goal at other end of pitch.

86 Comments

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By Francisco on November 17, 2007 @ 6:57 pm

man, these jokes are stupid…all of you are chelsea haters…just because chelsea is the best club team…manchester united sucks…without cristiano and rooney they are nothing

By jenna on November 21, 2007 @ 7:34 am

PEOPLE WANNA STOP SLAGGIN CHELSEA OF THEY ARE THE BEST TEAM EVA OKAII SO GO F**K YHA SELF ALRIGHT

By rich on November 22, 2007 @ 6:29 am

chelsea fans r all ****** scum! manchester united will never die and shall always be the above chelsea wankers! Without all your money your nothin!

By fdddffdgfvfdgf on November 22, 2007 @ 7:00 am

dis web site is da fucken best

By CHELSEA FAN(NEPAL) on December 7, 2007 @ 9:47 pm

LIVERPOOL *****
MANCHESTER UNITED SUCKS
CHELSEA ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHELSEA THE GREAT FOOTBALL SQUAD

By CHELSEA FAN(NEPAL)(BUDDHANAGAR) on December 7, 2007 @ 9:50 pm

MANCHESTER SUCKS ALWAYS
CHELSEA WILL ALWAYS BE ABOVE MANU AND LIVERPOOL
MANU SUCKS________________HIPHIP HURRAY
LIVERPOOL FUCKS____________HIPHIP HURRAY
LIVERPOOL SUCKS_____________LONG-LASTING HURRAY
MANU FUCKS_________________NEVER-LASTING HURRAY

CHELSEA THE BEST

By Anonymous on December 11, 2007 @ 7:47 am

FEYENOORD ROTERDAM!

By carol on December 17, 2007 @ 6:28 am

whether you like it or not you ******* manchester and liverpool CHELSEA is the best team ever thanks to our emperor JOSE MOURINHO.You only envy chelsea for its power and greatness.

By CAROL on December 17, 2007 @ 6:44 am

whether you like it or not you ******* manchester or liverpool CHELSEAare the best you are dying to have didier drogba or any other player cuz they are gold.You only envy us because we had our emperor JOSE MOURINHO .you all **** and suck.mi amore chelsea

By kojen on December 17, 2007 @ 8:33 am

gek omong opo to mas mas aku ora ngerti blas

By Maynard on January 9, 2008 @ 9:26 am

EVERTON KICK ALL YOUR ARSE’S ***** AND ALL CHELSEA FANS ARE WANKERS

By me on January 24, 2008 @ 9:04 am

you anti-chelsea people want to intimidate us? yeah right.

By BLuE DeViL on February 17, 2008 @ 8:35 am

lol everton fans can’t talk because we kicked their asses in semi-finals…. Good luck chelsea in the final … JOE COLEE !!!

By BLuE DeViL on February 17, 2008 @ 8:43 am

man u is one playered man, ronaldo ofcourse.. LIverpool are a good team but they just can’t win games.. Arsenal have a god young squad… AND CHELSEAA, they proved that they are the best this season by the reserve team playing (drogba, essien kalou Mikel, Terry, Lampard

By Jose Mourinho on February 22, 2008 @ 4:12 am

Why didn’t the chairman give me the 100 GBP to improve my squad?!

By Allah on February 29, 2008 @ 2:11 am

CHELSEA ROCKS HARD !!! IF ANYONE WANT A FIGHT WITH ME JUST COME MY NAME IS HJALMAR ARNAL SMITH

By stefan on March 21, 2008 @ 8:29 pm

wtf that keeper joke is so ***** dumb chelsea have the best keeper in the world :P

By chelsea FANCLUB ( THAI ) on April 11, 2008 @ 10:07 pm

where is shevchenko
I want to see shevchenko play in UEFA match

By dini on April 14, 2008 @ 6:12 am

chelsea the best

By chelsea fan on April 27, 2008 @ 5:54 am

hey wat do u think of ur selves
stupid f**king jokes
chlesea rox!!!
man u sux!!!
and that’s true
now read sum jokes about your f**king man u :

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Q: What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.

Q: What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they’ve been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.

Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What’s the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s Alex Ferguson.

Q: What’s the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real ****.

Q: Why can’t you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.

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