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Arsenal Q&A Jokes

Q: At Highbury, what is the difference between the words “disciplinary” and “football”?
A: “Disciplinary” is the only one associated with the word “action”.

Q: How come Arsenal fans don’t fall asleep during a match?
A: The smell of their ground keeps them awake.

Q: How do you make an Arsenal fan’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a torch in his ears.

Q: How do the braincells of an Arsenal fan die?
A: Alone.

Q: How long has Tony Adams played for Arsenal?
A: Donkeys years.

Q: How many Arsenal players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.

Q: What do Arsenal fans do after Arsenal wins the Champions League?
A: They put away their Play Stations.

Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start.

Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

Q: What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi?
A: A burglar.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo.

Q: What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job?
A: “Can I have a Big Mac!”

Q: What does a 3 pin plug and Arsenal Football Club have in common?
A: They’re both useless in Europe.

Q: What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?
A: Their both red and white and full of coke.

Q: What is the difference between an Arsenal fan and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer.

Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsenal player, surname George?
A: One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.

Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsenal team?
A: One takes dope and the rest are dopes.

Q: What is the highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A. Pro-plus (sleep repellant).

Q: What is the second highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A: Horlicks.

Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go on holiday?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).

Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go to die?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).

Q: Why are Arsenal going to sack Wenger?
A: Because he keeps putting Seaman into the Youth team.

Q: Why did the Arsenal fan get sacked from the M & M factory?
A: He kept throwing out the W’s.

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too.

Q: Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.

Q: Why do Arsenal men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second.

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?
A: It saves time.

Q: Why is the pitch at Highbury so green?
A: Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.

Q: Why should you not allow Arsenal fans a coffee break at work?
A: Because it takes too long to retrain them.

Q: You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.

57 Comments

Pages: < 1 2 3

By Me on February 2, 2008 @ 7:58 am

Arsenal suck Man Utd rule!!!!

By jessica on February 9, 2008 @ 9:30 am

to by harsh, let me tell u that when did liverpool man united go out in da carling cup, man united lost to COVENTRY omg ha ha we got out in the semmi’s so we do stay in the cup for quite some time and if we played our fist 11 there would have been a totally different out come, where are we in champions league, FA.cup x ARSENAL TILL I DIE you go on about arsenal being divers, what about DROGBA AND RONALDO every time someone pokes ronaldo or even breathes on him, he falls over and pulls up his socks what a *** boy. all i got to say is WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE SAY WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE, WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE SAY WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE. If we suck, and liverpool rule should n’t they be TOP above us, oh i forgot no one can be above us becasue we are TOP AND WE ARE STAYING TOP. COME on city against the scum{man united} do it for us arsenal through my blood. x

By jessica on February 15, 2008 @ 7:25 am

to alex f3rg3son :-
roses are red
violets are blue
we’ve got 5 more bludy points than u
from ARSENAL
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By jessica on February 15, 2008 @ 8:06 am

to alex fergeson:-
roses are red,
violets are blue,
we’ve got 5 more points than you,
love ARSENAL
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By Anonymous on February 28, 2008 @ 8:18 am

to last comment
roses are red
violets are blue
simply f**ck u

By all united fans on March 28, 2008 @ 10:01 pm

roses are red
violets are blue
now we are on top
and gonna win champions league too
; )

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on April 3, 2008 @ 1:23 am

can’t u scum (man united ) fans think of your own tunes instead of copping ours god mun, champions league pah u r aving a laugh man united might get past roma but Not BARCA bois x see u guys at da finish line lol

By VATSAL on April 4, 2008 @ 7:48 am

ARSENAL THE BEST

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on April 7, 2008 @ 9:07 am

way 2 go VATSAL !

By billydude on April 9, 2008 @ 10:12 pm

what do you call a team thats never gona win the league?
answer: arsenal

By nanifc on April 14, 2008 @ 12:11 am

Aresenal sux..
man united BLODY ELL>! the best

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on April 14, 2008 @ 12:18 pm

ha ha u are so very funny

By Neville on April 21, 2008 @ 5:42 am

I support Arsenal N dey r all tru

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on April 25, 2008 @ 12:04 pm

they r all wot?? lol

By Derby Fan on April 28, 2008 @ 11:10 pm

At least we have a record that none of you can beat!
WE RULE AND WE WILL RULE THE CHAMPIONS LEAUGE

Whats the difference between Arsenal and a bucket of poo?
The bucket!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

What’s the difference between a knocked over Arsenal fan and a knocked over dog.
Skid marks before the dog.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

What’s the difference between Arsenal and Derby?
We rule and they SUCK!

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on May 3, 2008 @ 1:27 am

if derby rule n we suck surely we would not av stuffed u 6-2 adebayor 2 hatricks against u ring a bell

By Anonymous on July 7, 2008 @ 5:16 am

ARSENAL R ARSEHOLES

By siegetank on August 24, 2008 @ 11:24 am

Go chelsea!!! Even Wartford can pwn them :P

By nufc4lyf on August 31, 2008 @ 5:48 am

haha good jokes

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on September 2, 2008 @ 5:50 am

yes really clever ……………. NOT

Pages: < 1 2 3

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