Q: At Highbury, what is the difference between the words “disciplinary” and “football”?
A: “Disciplinary” is the only one associated with the word “action”.

Q: How come Arsenal fans don’t fall asleep during a match?
A: The smell of their ground keeps them awake.

Q: How do you make an Arsenal fan’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a torch in his ears.

Q: How do the braincells of an Arsenal fan die?
A: Alone.

Q: How long has Tony Adams played for Arsenal?
A: Donkeys years.

Q: How many Arsenal players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.

Q: What do Arsenal fans do after Arsenal wins the Champions League?
A: They put away their Play Stations.

Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start.

Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

Q: What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi?
A: A burglar.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo.

Q: What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job?
A: “Can I have a Big Mac!”

Q: What does a 3 pin plug and Arsenal Football Club have in common?
A: They’re both useless in Europe.

Q: What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?
A: Their both red and white and full of coke.

Q: What is the difference between an Arsenal fan and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer.

Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsenal player, surname George?
A: One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.

Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsenal team?
A: One takes dope and the rest are dopes.

Q: What is the highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A. Pro-plus (sleep repellant).

Q: What is the second highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A: Horlicks.

Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go on holiday?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).

Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go to die?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).

Q: Why are Arsenal going to sack Wenger?
A: Because he keeps putting Seaman into the Youth team.

Q: Why did the Arsenal fan get sacked from the M & M factory?
A: He kept throwing out the W’s.

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too.

Q: Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.

Q: Why do Arsenal men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second.

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?
A: It saves time.

Q: Why is the pitch at Highbury so green?
A: Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.

Q: Why should you not allow Arsenal fans a coffee break at work?
A: Because it takes too long to retrain them.

Q: You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.