Arsenal Q&A Jokes

Q: At Highbury, what is the difference between the words “disciplinary” and “football”?
A: “Disciplinary” is the only one associated with the word “action”.

Q: How come Arsenal fans don’t fall asleep during a match?
A: The smell of their ground keeps them awake.

Q: How do you make an Arsenal fan’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a torch in his ears.

Q: How do the braincells of an Arsenal fan die?
A: Alone.

Q: How long has Tony Adams played for Arsenal?
A: Donkeys years.

Q: How many Arsenal players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.

Q: What do Arsenal fans do after Arsenal wins the Champions League?
A: They put away their Play Stations.

Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start.

Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

Q: What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi?
A: A burglar.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo.

Q: What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job?
A: “Can I have a Big Mac!”

Q: What does a 3 pin plug and Arsenal Football Club have in common?
A: They’re both useless in Europe.

Q: What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?
A: Their both red and white and full of coke.

Q: What is the difference between an Arsenal fan and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer.

Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsenal player, surname George?
A: One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.

Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsenal team?
A: One takes dope and the rest are dopes.

Q: What is the highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A. Pro-plus (sleep repellant).

Q: What is the second highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A: Horlicks.

Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go on holiday?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).

Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go to die?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).

Q: Why are Arsenal going to sack Wenger?
A: Because he keeps putting Seaman into the Youth team.

Q: Why did the Arsenal fan get sacked from the M & M factory?
A: He kept throwing out the W’s.

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too.

Q: Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.

Q: Why do Arsenal men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second.

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?
A: It saves time.

Q: Why is the pitch at Highbury so green?
A: Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.

Q: Why should you not allow Arsenal fans a coffee break at work?
A: Because it takes too long to retrain them.

Q: You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.

80 Comments

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By TOTTENHAM RULEZ on November 12, 2008 @ 2:37 am

here is a joke wot do arsenal team do when they win the champions league they turn there playstaions off. lol cmon u spurs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

By ADE on November 24, 2008 @ 1:55 am

I LOVE SOL CAMPBELL

By Arsenal Fan on January 2, 2009 @ 2:37 am

Well for me, I seriously think that all your jokes ain’t funny. They are a much more unique team than the rest of the Premier League’s teams and they are made a laughing stock here? The so-called “Arsenal Q & A Jokes” are simply insulting… You don’t like to be insulted very much too, do you? Or not? Just a disgrace to be true.

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on January 4, 2009 @ 4:57 am

to the comment about tottenham, saying that we can not win da champo league. n u think spurs can puh my *** u can’t even break into the top 10 let along top FOUR( just to let u now coz u ain’t been in da top 4 ,4 yrs n yrs…. a little reminder to have to be in there to have a chance of qualifing )… roma nice easy legs come finalists are ARSENAL….

y av all of a sudden man united fans ruin our song
roses r red
violets r blue

GET ur own songs…
oh i 4got ur fans r all from london cos manchester city rule manchester x

By arsenal rules on January 4, 2009 @ 5:50 pm

fucc these jokes arsenal is the BEST love van persie

By klent vladimir on February 9, 2009 @ 1:44 am

**** arsenal

By Rachael for all the man utd fans out th on February 24, 2009 @ 12:55 pm

People who say man utd suck u should judge that on the table esspically arsenal fans who r 5th below aston villa !!!!!!!

By Jade on March 28, 2009 @ 3:56 am

your all sad!
u all say this **** about ur teams
where are u in the table? it shows how gud u r if ur not in 1st dont it!
arsenal are s**t and it proves it if u ever look at the table!!
MAN UTD ALL THE WAY!!

By chappo on May 10, 2009 @ 3:46 pm

MAN UTD ALL THE WAY
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE WINNERS 07/08
LEAGUE CHAMPIONS 07/08
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINALISTS 08/09 (SOON 2 BE WINNERS)
SOON 2 BE LEAGUE CHAMPIONS 08/09
CARLING CUP WINNERS 08/09
WORLD CLUB CHAMPIONS 08/09

DO U GET IT ARSENAL FANS ?

WERES ALL UR TROPHIES

OH SORRY YOU ANT WON ANY IN AGES

HAHA

By LOFTYMAN on May 14, 2009 @ 6:00 am

THAT R STUPID JOKESS BECUASE ARESENAL IS THE BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD AND I WANT BARCALONA TO WIN AGAINST MANCHESTER AS AREVENGE
1000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000-0 FOR BARCALONA

By chappo on May 17, 2009 @ 2:26 pm

YEHH COS THAT WILL HAPPEN AND ARSENAL ARE **** BTW

By ray on June 16, 2009 @ 1:09 am

ARSE-NAL hahahahaha the only care abt their arses

By Oana on June 28, 2009 @ 9:56 am

hahahaha what can i say….. maybe u can delete the word Arsenal and put Man Un Liverpool or Chelsea..

u know smth u should appreciate them because they are young and they are doing a wonderful job

By Oana on June 28, 2009 @ 9:58 am

and u know….anybody is obliged to be the fan of the first team on the table

a wonderful thing in the world is that people have different tastes….

but na :) ) look in the mirror :)

By Anonymous on August 17, 2009 @ 9:58 pm

hahaha look at all the glory hunters on here!!!

lets see how many of you man u “fans” are STILL “fans” when they start losing EVERYTHING!!!! yeah table dnt lie your right on that BUT will see who saying man u rule now with out the diving **** called ronaldo!!!!

COME ON U MIGHTY GUNNERS

ARSENAL FOR LIFE

By jessica and including all arsenal fans ! on September 22, 2009 @ 11:50 am

true, old fergies bum is twitching come on you reds

By yido on October 10, 2009 @ 7:04 am

arsenal are ***** **** and they suck ****

By yido on October 10, 2009 @ 7:06 am

arsenal are f u k i n s h i t and they suck d i c k

By yido on October 10, 2009 @ 7:07 am

*** u gooners

By billie on November 4, 2009 @ 4:33 pm

there’s a rumour going around which is said to be true, that they didn’t put a trophy room in at the emirates. The reason being is that the scum never win f**k all. hate the scum. your season will be over by feb ha ha ha

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